December 28th 2012

Hi there.

I just going to get down to business. (Try listening to 'The Funeral - Band of Heroes')

Recently my sister has returned the hard disk to us. So the past weeks have just been movies and TV series. I just watched how I met your mother. There's this one episode that I like. The first episode of the eighth season. The last part where Klaus was explaining to Ted about Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz. You see the closest translation of that is 'Lifelong Treasure of Destiny'. Victoria to Klaus is just his Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand = 'The thing that is almost the thing that you want, but not quite'. Ted then asks what if Victoria were to get more Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz-ier.

Klaus explains that cannot happen because, it is not something that develops over time.
It is something that happens instantaneously.
It courses through you.
Like the water of a river after a storm.
Filling you and emptying you all at once.
You feel it throughout your body.
In your hands. In your heart. In your stomach. In your skin.

Klaus says that eventually everyone will find it. We just don't know when or where.
Have you ever felt this way about someone?
If you have to think about it, you have not felt it.

I wish that I felt that way about someone.
Once I felt it. But then I lost it. I was too scared. Too scared to take a risk. To scared to try. I regret it. Now I just look at her from a distance and wonder what we could have been.
Here I am just listening to this sad song, and reading our old conversations. It's sad because I felt so happy talking to her. I still remember being really scared what to text to her. I feel so stupid now.

Now I'm trying to fall back in love with her. Reading her blog, while listening to the song that reminds me most of her. But I just can't reach that feeling of  Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz.

Sometimes I wonder if she really liked me or just thought about me just as a friend. I just wished I could make her notice. But it's too late for that. I moved on. She moved on. Maybe I'll fine my Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz later on. I hope I don't make the same mistake again.

December 20th 2012

Good evening,
Today I was fined. Half of it was my fault. I'm not freaked out actually. But I have to skip school. The story starts like this...

Thursday morning, 10 a.m.,
I woke up suddenly because I had an urge to pee. After that, I went to check on my little brother. He said that he wanted to go out with his friends. I peeked into his room and saw him fast asleep.
I woke him up and said "Didn't you want to go out today?"
He replied "Arrgghhh, I'm already late."
I left him and went to the kitchen to find something to eat. Minutes later, my brother rushes in with his face washed and wearing dashing clothes. He asked me if I would send him to the bus stop uptown. I said "sure". Little did I know, I wouldn't be helping him at all.
We got on the motorcycle and left the house.
"It seemed to easy" I said to myself.
Just as we got to the main road near the forest, The cops pulled us over and took us in for questioning. I thought to myself, "Could I still make a run for it?"
In the end, I didn't and was stuck for nearly half an hour.
I was fined for driving without a license, and driving without a helmet. My brother on the other hand got off clean.
I returned home tired from not enough sleep and depressed.
My cover story i'm gonna tell my mom is that I got pulled over when I was going to play football.

Shit happens, I know.

Besides that sad story, I also haven't got a present for my dad yet. And I owe my brother and sister money. Could shit get any worse?

December 18 2012

This morning I woke up at 9.
That's normal right?
But here's the catch, I lay down on my bed for 4 HOURS.
What do I do during that time? Well mostly just going back to sleep. And I have these little short dreams. Kinda like short movies or commercials if you will.
I remember some of them, like this one dream. My brother came into my room, and asked for his shirt. Which of course, I gave to him.
I also had another dream. I can't quite remember how it goes, but I remember that it looked like something I would do in the future. The near future. I remember who was in the dream, but can't remember how it went. Weird.

Yesterday I met Her.
She invited me over for a game of mastermind. She played it differently than how my family would play it. A lot easier. She followed told me to place the clues according to the sequence. Have you ever played mastermind? If you have, you would know that it is very easy to play it as such. When it was my turn to guess, I told her to place the clues however she pleases. She must have thought to herself, "He'll never get it right". In the end, I proved her wrong. I guessed correctly on the seventh guess. Which I thought to myself was very impressive.
We had lunch too. Her mother made us something to eat.
Don't tell her this, but I find that her little brother is very annoying. He's 8 or 9 years old and he is quite a pain in the ass.

Sorry to end the post, but I must go.
Goodbye.

16 December 2012

A little heads up, this blog will be 100% in english. I am not trying to brag or show off, but I feel more comfortable writing this way. I was taught to write like this, and I can show all my emotions easily.

I'm trying to write everyday, and I hope that I don't stop or become tired of writing.

I am also reading books now. But most of the books at home are not my taste. I normally download ebooks online and ask my mother to print them for me at work. I vision my shelf full of script-like-books, and hand drawn covers by yours truly. Tomorrow is monday and I am going to ask my mother to print some of the books. I really enjoyed Percy Jackson and Red Pyramid.

Life here is good. Everything is as normal. Hope to blog again soon.

15 December 2012

This is me again, starting a new blog.
Recording my thoughts again.
I invite you to my world, and hope you can feel everything I feel.

I think you yourself know who I am. I will not waste time and introduce myself. As I said before, I want you to feel what I feel. My identity is not important.

That is all. Thank you.